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Annoying Spinny Toy Decoded
pokemon
unwiredben
DWEEB on the toy's display

Back in May, after an evening with friends at Dave and Busters, I got a little electronic device from their prize booth that's fascinated me for its impracticality.  It's a plastic electronic toy with a single button.  Pressing the button starts it making a horrible shrill sound while it spins a disc inside a plastic cover.  On the disc are a row of LEDs such that spinning them produces a display.

Every time you start it, it shows the exact same set of phrases, but it's got a 50 of them.  However, the choice of phrases is VERY random.  I had to document this; the whole sequence took over three minutes to watch, so I used my Treo's voice recorder to take notes, then transcribed them for you:

I (HEART) YOU  /  BEST FRIENDS  /  BOZO  /  CHECK IT OUT
CHILL  /  COWBOY UP  /  DUDE!  /  HOT! HOT! HOT!
DWEEB  /  FORSHIZZLE  /  FOXY  /  LET'S ROCK
TIGHT  /  FRONTIN'  /  PARTY ANIMAL  /  PEACE!
LET'S DANCE  /  UP OUT  /  SLAMMIN'  /  SMILE!
STRAIGHT UP  /  'SUP  /  FUN TIME  /  FUNKY
GOOD LUCK  /  GROOVY  /  HAPPY BIRTHDAY  /  FLY
LET'S PARTY  /  HOWDY  /  PHAT  /  JAMMIN'
FREAKY  /  I'M OUT  /  SAY WHAY?  /  MISS YOU
SWEET  /  WHAZZUP DOG?  /  TRIPPIN'  /  AWESOME
WORD  /  PEACE OUT  /  COOL  /  BITE ME
HIZZY  /  PIMPIN'  /  RIGHTEOUS  /  WICKED
HAPPY NEW YEAR  /  MERRY X'MAS

and then it repeats.  To be honest, I'd never heard the phrase "cowboy up" before seeing it here.  I'm also not sure why every gerund has to be spelled with the "G" missing.  Maybe that's what they mean when they say "it's nothing but a G thang".  I don't quite get the context of "I'M OUT", but I like that it's followed by "SAY WHAT?" then "MISS YOU".  Then, having items for your birthday, New Years, and Christmas all together seems like a shotgun approach.  I was half expecting "GREAT ARBOR DAY" or "COOL HANUKKAH" to show up next.  Apparently the designers picked words by watching MTV and then looking through their 1980's video collection.  The good news is that now that I've seen them all, I won't have to look at the device and its horrible noise ever again.
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That item is just begging to be put in a time capsule. Forshizzle.

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