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Revamping Oktoberfest
I realized earlier today that last night's essay about Oktoberfest was a bit negative. So, I've come up with a list of alternative events that might be more suitable to my preferences.

Mocktoberfest - big mugs of root beer, guys wearing pleather lederhosen, and jazz trios doing snap-worthy covers of oompa songs

Spocktoberfest - everybody has to dress in Starfleet uniforms from the Classic, STTMP, TNG, or Deep Space Nine eras. No one ever gets rowdy when they're wearing space pajamas.

Ock-Tobey-fest - fall film festival, featuring "Spiderman", "Spiderman 2", "Seabiscuit", "Pleasantville", and "The Cider House Rules".

Docktoberfest - like the real festival, but held along the shore of a major shipping channel. When it gets too crowded, people will be pushed into the water to sober up.

Hocktoberfest - all the pawn shops get together to sell all the junk they've accumulated over the last year at bargain prices

Maaloxtoberfest - what happens when 500,000 Germans overdose on bratwurst and have the tummysickfeeling.

Shiner Bocktoberfest - if I have to be around a bunch of drunken debauchery, I'd rather be there with fellow Austinites!
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Safety first! with Docktoberfests

Just gotta make sure the docks are fence-less. The most crowded show I've been to was seeing Muddy Waters at Navy Pier at a Chicagofest. Folks were so packed together that a (short) friend of mine's feet left the ground for a while. But now that the lakes and rivers are getting cleaner, it might be nice to cool off in the water during summer concerts.

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